This reporter is so right. Plastered cocktail warriors are the real zombies.
You're at the bar and you see him stumbling along, using other patrons like Tarzan uses vines. You know he's coming your way and he's gonna want to talk to you, just because you attract them. He sloppily invades your personal space and mutters something indecipherable. He repeatedly forgets what he has just said and you pray(as you rarely do unless you need something) for him to instantaneously burst into flames.
Sometimes he wears a New York Jets jersey..
I was watching this game with a bunch of friends and we all reacted like people in the Northeast do when there is a small Earthquake. We looked at each other quizzically, "Is Joe Namath bleepfaced?". Then Joe removed all doubt and an entire nation declared "Holy bleep, Joe Namath is bleepfaced!"
I thought Joe pulled it off nicely. Some people do drunk well. Others are Charlie Sheen..
Who doesn't get a little excited after a Guns n Roses concert, right?
And as a matter of fact, where IS Slash?
Is he in the Christmas tree?
I would react the same way to a pirate question.
Anyway, those West Coast cats can't handle their booze like we do up here in the mighty 42nd parallel...
Good Swill Hunting