If you're like me you were watching tv yesterday when SUDDENLY THERE WAS BREAKING LOCAL NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The local choppers had been scrambled and were hovering over Waltham!
Roads were blocked, officers and rescue crews converged upon the scene!
I spit-up my Grape Nuts, grabbed my daughter and huddled in the basement.
Oh the humanity, a child was stuck on the ice!
Correction: A deer was stuck on the ice.
Rescuers heroically braved the ice and elements while local tv monitored the struggling animal. It was a battle against time and fearless first-responders even put themselves at risk.
The deer was rescued!...and then was euthanized.
According to Fox 25 "the deer had been put down due to complications from rescue myopathy and hypothermia," or as I would call it, it died from being a deer in optimal conditions for deer deaths.
No one wants to see Bambi struggle on the ice but when nature is taking its course we should not do bailouts - those are for union-heavy US automakers.
Where do we draw the line? Coyotes kill deer. Bears kill deer. Cold weather kills deer. Men kill deer - everybody kills deer. Are we going to have blue-helmeted UN troops patrolling the Middlesex Fells to prevent a varmint Battle Royale from erupting?
If the deer is in deep kim-chi on the ice, give your county marksman a little practice and let him end the suffering right there.
It is the humane thing to do.
Also, "Breaking News" won't interrupt my Judge Judy.